This evening my dad spouted a particularly venomous & vitriolic rant on religion....
Some quotes from this evening's rant:
"I mean, who the FUCK thinks that the Holy Grail is a golden fucking cup,Hal? A Golden Fucking Cup?! Bollocks! The Holy Grail is Jesus' Fucking Foreskin! .... and THAT is what they keep inside the golden cup."
"All these women moaning about female genital mutilation, bollocks, what about all the jewish babies that get their fucking foreskins cut off? That's child abuse isn't it?......what happens to all those foreskins those fucking cunt Rabbis cut off? Do they compost them? Do they collect them? Do they turn them into a fucking necklace? Do they keep them on the dashboard of their Jew Canoe?" (Jew Canoe = Mercedes)
"....and all because of a fucking book, they all bow down to a fucking book,and even then they get punished.... I mean look at those cunts in Italy recently: *Imitates the voice of God*: "You haven't been grovelling hard enough! Here you go you fucking Cocksuckers! Have a fucking earthquake!"
"When you win the lottery, Hal, Just wait until the local priest comes around to ask if you can spare some money to fix the church roof. Then you turn the fucking pressure hose on the cunt."
"I'd happily give a buddhist 50p"
Also, for years now my dad has been claiming that he worships 'BAAL' (aka 'The Lottery God'). He did actually once make a clay effigy of BAAL, but it was destroyed years ago.
There were more quotes, but I forgot them...