It was nice that Halloween came on a weekend this year as I was able to properly binge on horror movies this time.
Friday Night:
Halloween Resurrection [dir. Rick Rosenthal, 2002] - I've finally seen the last Halloween film in the franchise and I have to say I didn't think it was that bad. My friend and I affectionately refer to it as Bustaween since Busta Rhymes is in it not as a token celebrity but as a full blown character [full blown character being relative]. We were also dying at Jamie Lee Curtis's 'fuck you pay me' appearance for five minutes. I can barely even speak to the plot or dialogue because we were riffing so hard over it, but there were some decent kills, Michael Myers was of an appropriate size, even if his mask look especially ridiculous, and there was some solid titty from the redhead. Also Busta Rhymes kung-fu kicks the shit out of Michael and while some may think that's the worse development in the Halloween series I'd say it was the best thing I'd seen in many a movie. On the whole this is definitely a trash film but it was infinitely less painful than Zombie's Halloween II or H20.
Firday the 13th: A New Beginning [Danny Steinmann, 1985] - so after rewatching the first 20 minutes of Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter to confirm I had actually seen it before we watched this thing. I've seen it described as especially sleazy numerous times and while there is '80s sleaze it didn't blow my mind. Having lived a pretty sleazy lifestyle for many years its gotta hit hard for me to get excited. Regardless there's ample nudity in this one, mediocre kill shots, but solid 'dead body art' corpse posing. I like that Corey Feldman's character as an adult is a pill-popping, easy-to-anger autist, who just beats the shit out of anyone he decides to flip out on. And I like the setting of barely functioning halfway house for troubled adults. You could watch anyone of the scenes in this movie and marvel in wonder at the ineptitude, but taken as a whole its a surrealist romp from one kill or set of tits to the next. Also a black guy in full leather having sweaty Mexican food confetti shits gets killed in an outhouse. It was fun.
Saturday:
Hocus Pocus [dir. Kenny Ortega, 1993] - haven't seen this one since I was a kid and boy is it a weird one. Sarah Jessica Parker as a ditsy blonde witch is hawt. Bette Midler as the leader of the trio is very fun. the main character makes me want to kill myself, but he gets roasted the whole fucking movie for being a virgin so it makes up for it. There's a bunch of other weirdly out of place pseudo raunchy detours that just add an air of WTF to this movie that made it relatively easy to watch.
Resident Evil [dir. Paul W.S. Anderson, 2002] - so I wanted to watch this because I just started playing RE games again and thought it would be fun. I only saw it once on a bad torrent right after it came out and all I really remembered was brief Milla Jovovich side boob and the laser defense thing slicing commando dudes up. Well both of things happen with a lot of dumb stuff on either side. There's no way around the fact that this is a stupid movie with minimal interior logic BUT because I wanted to watch it and was willing to accept maximum dumb, I was actually entertained as hell. I totally forgot about the scene where Jovovich runs up a wall and then kicks a mutant doberman pinscher in the face, which they showed in every trailer before this movie's release. It's so dumb but now it's just fun dumb instead of kicking a video game I loved in the face dumb like it felt then. There was a surprising lack of blood and gore but I think that was more a product of 2002 era movies which I remember as being largely bloodless. Also the score which is done by Marilyn Manson and Marco Beltrami is kinda good at some points, even when it is the big chunky "industrial metal" riffs. I'm pretty sure I'll be working my way through this series very shortly because I have no self-respect.
Child's Play [dir. Tom Holland, 1988] - I've spent my whole life thinking I'd hate Child's Play/Chucky movies because I rarely like intentional horror/comedy and for no other discernable reason. then I listened to a podcast on the history of this series and it convinced me to give it a chance. The fact that Brad Dourif plays/voices Charles Lee Ray/Chucky forced me to take the plunge. I gotta say, I thought this first one was great! Chucky is way creepier than camp 90% of the time and when it's not being a horror movie it almost feels like a bitching action film. It also helped I kept thinking how terrifying it would be if your kid honestly believed his 3 foot doll was alive. Lock that fucker up! While watching the Resident Evil series will be an experiment in self-inflicted torture, I'm hopefully going through the Chucky movies will actually be rewarding. It's certainly starts off 100x stronger.
Antichrist [dir. Lars von Trier, 2009] - to end the night my partner and I watched Antichrist. Does it get much better? I think only now after years of showing her weirder and weirder stuff could she get into it. It felt complimentary in style to Twin Peaks: The Return, which we've been watching too. She'd never seen it before so it was fun to watch her rapid descent into disgust in those last 30 minutes. SPOILER Still makes my skin crawl to see that penis get bashed with a log and jerked off to a load of bloody completion. Fucking hell.
