i have had this conversation with a friend somewhat recently about what is 'missing' nowadays with noise music in general, and we couldn't really put our finger on it either. been in touch with this guy for over a decade at least. both feel the same. i remember us both saying much of what has been said here already. but we boiled it down to what seems to be an all around "lack of effort". the casual, easy, and more business like effect the internet has had on doing things.
back in the times we were both glowingly reflecting upon.... the physical act of doing actual labor to get money, then travelling to the city to visit select shops one was only aware even existed by word of mouth, or hand-to-hand sharing of zines, catalogs.... to spend hours searching physical items. the reward and excitement when browsing non-alphabetized used cd/record section under blanket statement genre of 'industrial / experimental'... and then you find the merzbow disc. you have never heard it, you just know it is the not-music-at-all type of cd you're craving... what all the anticipation, preparation, the whole trip is for. its a name you've seen praised more then others, or just printed in more catalogs then others. no mp3 sampling beforehand to go on. you travel home and get in the right headspace to fully absorb what you are about to hear. you still question how the sounds were made. enthusiasm. wonder. it is a feeling i personally have totally lost in almost every aspect of life. but i know i still love noise, still seek to listen, still get a glimmer of that feeling. the recent discs by Heat Signature hit the mark... make me realize i still love noise.
i also remember speaking about the aspect of sound creation now. referencing a certain project, casually watching/listening their videos on whatever platform. sound could certainly be considered technically 'good', something i should like... but then i see it is all coming from one little box with several knobs, not some large chain of different effects boxes and strange looking objects connected by 20 patch cables. now you can make instant harsh noise out of one box, for around $150. no mystery, no endless trials to achieve the sounds you are seeking to create. no happy accidents or obtuse learning curve. purchase your premade noise device with paypal, its delivered, plug in, then upload to bandcamp or whatever. all sounds different, yet all the same. and all full of whatever is causing this apathetic feeling, all lacking the missing thing we are trying to identify. i've never used any site like that for anything. honestly felt disheartened when i contacted dilloway about recent nevari butchers tape and he said get it on bandcamp... i have since learned physical copies exist but having never used that site or app or whatever it is i instantly took it to mean mp3. now of course i have downloaded plenty of mp3s, but didnt even have fast internet until 2008 maybe? and i always bought what i truly enjoyed if it was affordable or accessible, going as far as to delete things i liked just to kick my ass into buying it. still can't wrap my head around the concept that people actually pay for mp3s, and that is the whole of the product they are receiving...
but anyway... if you even go the extra mile to produce a physical item anymore, then there is the artwork... very little art these days has the impact that browsing the old msbr records website had. like "whoa, this is what the record looks like?! a pile of melted plastic & metal!!" certainly matched the sounds, the anti-mainstream-in-every-way approach noise seemed to embody in all aspects back then. now noise appears to have its own mainstream i guess you could say. pictures sourced from endless hours of screen-time time-killing, not from magic moment in used bookshop or obscure anatomical/military textbook taken out of local library dumpster, or grandpas weird magazines...
"the past is the enemy of the future" is the full phrase from which i took the name for the ahlz tape. at the time it was reflecting on the more childlike enthusiasm for life in general i felt had slipped away from me. it was the sentiment of dedication. i've always fought change though have learned it is inevitable. still i'll fight it to the point of self destruction. you make your bed, you lie in it, and like it. captain goes down with his ship. 15 years later, i am applying the enemy of the future phrase to the very thing i was attempting to use as a force against change from occurring, and feeling like the future won the fight. was always destined to i guess...
perhaps this is just they way things go, with anything, once you're involved in it for 10, 20, 30+ years... perhaps it is just me who is now bored & boring, jaded to the point of a skeptical, nihilistic, beaten down jerk. perhaps, but i dont think so since so many others seem to feel similarly.
